The Lone Lolita

The topic of the lone Lolita is a rather nostalgic topic for me, because for a long time mine were the only frills in town. Well, technically they still are, my frilly friends are scattered pretty far, but my own reflection in the mirror and a few well loved Bibles is certainly no longer the only glimpse of frills I have ever seen. It was a year and a half between when I started wearing real Lolita and when I actually got to meet another Lolita! For me, this lack of other Lolitas in my life was the perfect time to indulge in the Lifestyle Lolita attitude. After all, if there aren't any other Lolitas in my life, I could certainly make my life a little more Lolita.

I have found that this is often the way it is with new Lolitas, they are very gung-ho about the lifestyle often associated with the style simply because there is no one else to share their passion for the style with. Most of them mellow out about having to lolify everything once they meet more Lolitas, or just become more comfortable with their place in the fashion, and there is certainly nothing wrong with this! I've always found that kind of dedication to the fashion rather charming, probably, because like I said, I was the same way so long ago.

If you get into the wide and frilly world of Lolita fashion and find yourself the only one around who even knows what it is, don't despair, because there are lots of ways to add a little more Lolita to your life. These are a few of the ways that I did it, back when I was The Lone Lolita.
  • Add a little more Lolita to your life than just the clothes. Redecorate with your favorite style of Lolita in mind. Check out this super old post on my blog on the subject if you need some ideas!
  • Take up a hobby fit for a Lolita. It can be pretty much anything, from embroidery, to knitting, to sewing, to even just drawing. It's going to be good for your wardrobe, as well as you, if it can add a few extra pieces like knitting or sewing can, or make a few current pieces really unique, like embroidery can.
  • Consume more media! Of the Lolita kind at least. I used to be so thrilled to take home a new Kera or Gothic & Lolita Bible and flip through it looking for new clothes to dream about. Sure, you can find scans of every bible for free online, but it's so much more satisfying to hold a great big tome filled with inspiring coordinates in your hands, and even more satisfying to see them all lined up on a shelf. As well as magazines hunt down some Lolita-centric movies, manga, and even music.
  • Participate in the online community. Sure, the online communities are a little... wanky at the moment, but I still stand by my opinion that EGL, and other online Lolita communities, is not as bad as people make it out to be. It's always great to participate in online discussions about the fashion, it really lets you get it all out sometimes! I know that I occasionally have the urge to hop on AIM, and IM all my Lolita friends to lament about Meta's newest print, or ramble away about how I feel about some new trend. Hehe, that's pretty much why I started this blog. It's really great to be able to talk about the fashion to people who understand it well.
  • Convert a friend. Don't force your frills on the unwilling, but if a friend is genuinely interested in Lolita, this is the perfect opportunity! There's hardly anything more fun in the world of Lolita than having someone to share frilly clothes with.
  • Add a little bit of Lolita to every outfit. On days you can't wear your frills, add something from your Lolita wardrobe. It can be a cute necklace, your favorite color of tea party shoes, or even a small Alice bow.
  • Spend a Loliday out on the town. Dress up in your finest frills and go somewhere loliappropriate! A cute diner, an antique shop, a quiet cafe, or even spend an afternoon in a library. Try to get out there in your frills, you may even meet someone local who knows about the fashion.
  • Get a pen pal. If you really want to find a fellow Lolita to talk to, consider, instead of lurking forums and LJ communities, a real snail-mail pen pal. It's so much more rewarding to talk to one person through letters than it is to exchange internet meme's with thousands on an internet community.
  • Finally, plan to go to a meetup! There is likely a LJ community for Lolitas in your area, scroll down to "area specific" on this great big list of Lolita communities and look for one near you. If your local community is a bit dead, try to revive it and plan your own meetup.
So, dear readers, how many of you are lone Lolitas? Are you a lone Lolita because you haven't had the chance yet to make Lolita friends, or have you been the only Lolita in the area for all the long years you've been a Lolita? What do you do to add a little more Lolita to your life if you're the only one? Or are you perfectly content with just wearing and enjoying the clothes by yourself?

35 comments:

  1. I've been a lone lolita for almost a year now since I've been wearing 'real' lolita pieces XD I've slowly converted my good friend. She loves the fashion, just needed tips on getting away from the scratchy lace and other minor things. I feel kind of "meh" that I have not seen another lolita around where I live--then again, no one really has money in this town and few know how to sew.

    Personally, I do not wear lolita out in public unless it's for a shoot or to boost the morale/ help sales for the community club I volunteer at. However, I do like adding bits of lace and finding frilly blouses to wear. In all honesty, I've been told most of the time I seem a bit "over-dressed" wherever I go. My room has several pretty things that makes me feel a bit more at home in regards to lolita.

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  2. Honestly, I think there are just too many people in my area for me to have been a lone lolita~ I went to a meetup before I even owned any lolita clothing. I could have chosen not to associate with them, but I think we would have crossed paths one way or another, and honestly--I'm really glad that I met them. Most of the people I've met through lolita fashion are now some of my closest friends, whether we're wearing frills or not.

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  3. I have been a Lone Lolita for a certain time, since I was part of the first French girls to get into the fashion, But now that I know many Lolitas, hang out on french communities (even have my own forum for lifestyle lolis), I just want to go back to the magic of being the only Lolita in my town and live my passion by myself. I'm slowly quitting communities, and making mine more intimate. I don't want to be part of a group, I want to live my dreams, and the community tends to rip them off. I miss the Time I felt so Loli while just reading a book with a cup of tea.

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  4. I'm not a Lone Lolita, but I've been dying to just take one day to myself, dress up in some really fine duds and go to lunch, take my laptop to a coffee shot and do a riotous amount of Lolita blogging and then watch Kamikaze Girls and Marie Antoinette at night as nosh on tiny little pastries. I'm fully of the opinion we need to pamper ourselves every now and then.

    BTW, do you mind updating your link to my blog? We've moved from carouselofcrows.wordpress.com to www.carouselofcrowns.com XD

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  5. I am the Lone Lolita in my city, perhaps even in my province xD I'd love to find another lolita in my area, but I don't really mind being the only one in frills. Growing up an only child (and having lived in a very small hometown), I'm very used to being alone, so I don't mind too much.
    I do love the EGL community on Live Journal, daily_lolita as well. I can't imagine how I would be dressing today if I didn't have the comm. to look to for answers xD Recently I have gotten away from visiting the comm., due to schoolwork, but when summer comes, I look forward to going back :D Until then, I still have fab lolita blogs to read :)

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    1. Hey.. um Alice, you said province.. does that mean you're Canadian like me? :o
      Do you want to be penpal besties? :D I'm from Niagara Falls, Ontario.

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  6. I am a lone lolita and for the time I prefer it that way.
    Our local comm has enough dramu and hate to make /cgl/ look civilized.
    I also REALLY struggle to connect with people especially those younger than me so for now i have just avoided local comms and frilly friends.

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  7. Hey there! I'm ichigo from "ichigohimeposts", linked on the bar on the right ^^' (actually I moved to http://reinodemorango.blogspot.com and I'd be glad if you could change, thanks :D). I love this post and already translated and posted to my blog (credited, of course).
    I'm the only lolita in my town and wear my frills in every chance I got xD Also I'm into Lifestyle, so I emphatized with this post ♥
    Love your blog!
    xoxo

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  8. I am a lone lolita in my town. I think there are others, but I have never seen them and don't have contact with them. I don't like to go to meet-ups, because the photos always end on the internet and I don't really want my photos there.
    I am pretty lonely, it would be nice to have a lolita friend to talk to. Where's a good place to meet some? ^^;

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  9. Although there a some Dutch Lolita's, they are scattered over the country. We have a dutch forum, but before you can become a member you had to sent a photo of yourself etc..etc.. D: I found that so uninviting :/ I dunno, I think dutch lolita's are mean?

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  10. Thank you for this grand post!
    I'm a little bit lonely with my frills in my town and the German community is breaking at the moment as it seems, so your post showed me that I don't need every-week meetups right at my front door to be a Lolita. :)

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  11. I have always been more or less alone, and it didn't change when I got into Lolita fashion. I haven't met any Lolitas in Norway yet, but it doesn't really matter to me.

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    1. Masse lolitaer i Norge da o_o

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  12. Thanks for this, interesting to read.
    For myself - I'm so happy my city have more than 20 Gothic Lolitas, every 6 weeks (less or more) we have Meetup here.
    Lucky that Germany have so many beautiful places like old cafe or castles for meetup *___*

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  13. To tell you the truth, I kind of started the opposite way haha. I had been interested in lolita for a little while, but when I got my first dress it was for a meet-up where I met a bunch of girls from the local community. It was great to see other people in real life that loved the frills and I couldn't wait to meet up again. Unfortunately, the local comm is a little separated into groups (usually younger girls vs. older ones) and now many of them live in a city 3 hours away, so most of the meet-ups are over there.
    Because of this, I've kind of been forced into being a lone lolita, but its kind of nice going back to the feelings at the beginning of reading the bibles and feeling like you're a part of something that's mysterious and romantic.

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  14. I am a lone lolita because honestly....I'm not on friendly terms with the lolitas in my area, nor do I speak French like the majority of them.

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  15. I'm a lone lolita since my parents are so strict ^_^" I'm not allowed to meet-ups which is a bit rubbish. I have friends who think it's cute but none of them will wear it. Until I move out I think I just have to live with it.

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  16. Wow_ first of thanks for commenting on my blog_i will ad this site to my side bar. I love the lolita style. This is the fi^rst time i have came across it but I love it. All the photos on your blog just look so awesome.

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  17. crap. so i was looking for inspiration for some digital products i was wanting to make and omg. ive followed so many links on your page, following the info, the awesome writing and your charming way that you have about you XD

    so very informative. soon i might finish a entry without getting led off to something new and interesting from the links that are in your posts XD

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  18. Lyzzy misa may gillOctober 27, 2010 at 9:12 AM

    i'm starting to dress in lolita clothes, and i only have a few female friends, none of them like lolita, but i would really like to meet some more, but new zealand is such a terribal place to get lolita clothing, and to meet more lolita's. i've only seen other lolita's at an anime expo. (anyone in the north island, look me up on facebook ^____________^ just say ur from F-yeah lolita. i would really like to have more lolita friends!)

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    1. hi! my names ruby ward I'm just starting to dress Lolita in new Zealand and in the north island! I swear not one Lolita soul has been seen where I am, im the only one in the whole city! and I would love to meet other Lolita's around the area! I searched you on Facebook but didn't find you!? ah....I wish I had strated Lolita earlier! XD and been on this website earlier! But anyway if your interested you and look my up on Facebook just look up ruby ward. in my pic I have black curly hair! hahaha just a pointer! :) I hope to hear from you! cos i'm looking for Lolita friends to! <3

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  19. Hi! I agree with the uninviting stuff .I'm really into lolita fashion ( and i'm Dutch) but I don't wear it yet and I don't know whe to start although I really want it. I think I just don't have the courage ( and I'm a little bit young, 13, is that to young?)

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  20. I'm a lone lolita, but my friends are mostly goth/punk :) + I'm a boy, so not many other lads to talk to who like to wear dresses x'D

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  21. It's quite lonely being a lolita in Olathe Kansas. Only a few people here have even hear of lolita and those are the friends of mine that I introduced to lolita. There is one other Lolita at my school though I have never had a real conversation. Only a few times when I have complimented her on her dresses. At least I'm not the only one.

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  22. Aw the woe of being a one lolita. UnU I live in deeeeep south Texas in a prodominanty (sp?) Mexican town where whenever I wore lolita 90% of people thought it was a fettish. One girl spent an hour trying to convence me it was all pedophillic based perversion. I wanted to slap that skranny as hell know it all bitch down but in my finest sweet lolita and with people watching, that wouldn't be right. So I just shrugged it off and eventually left the table. Now I have two or 3 friends that dabble in lolita and I am so happy for that.

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  23. I'm a Lone Lolita. I have planned to paint my room my favorite color of pink, and make more outfits. :3 Before I was a Lolita, I had always painted it a regular tan color so my friends could stand to come to my house. But now that I've moved, I get to live how I want! :D Gothic and Lolita Bibles are the things that keep me going as well. ^^ i'm so glad someone like you has experianced this.
    -Heather
    http://foxylolita.blogspot.com/

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  24. Im a Lone Lolita in London,Uk and was wondering if there were any other lolitas in london cuz im a newbie at this so i was hoping to meet up with some lolitas for advice

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  25. I love this! I love lolita and my room is classic,victorian. Im a lone newbie lolita but im trying to get my bff into it to. she is thinking about it. :)

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  26. I am a lone lolita.. and I didn't even realise I was a lolita until a couple of years ago, when a Japan-enthusiastic friend of mine made me aware of it. It seems that wearing kneehighs, mary janes, poofy skirts and cute blouses while baking cupcakes and drinking sweet tea, having hobbies like reading poetry, sewing and knitting did actually match up with a lifestyle of other people in the world as well... Moonstruck me! Unfortunately I live in Norway, and though there are plenty of goths here, there are NO lolitas...

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  27. tropicgothiclolitaJuly 1, 2012 at 8:32 AM

    I'm a lone gothic lolita in Hawaii. The majority of lolitas here are sweet and the weather makes it hard to be gothic.

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  28. you know, i never thought that there were too many other Lone Lolitas like me. it seems like all the lolis are in california. i figured everyone knew at least someone else that shared their interest in loli fashion. when i lived in iowa, i knew NO ONE who was into loli. out here now in ohio, once in a while i meet someone who is familiar with the fashion, but they themselves do not take part in it. i was perfectly fine with it at first, i actually really enjoyed it even though my friends thought i looked very strange. at home i felt like a lone princess in a castle, and i did that as well. i bought the GLB mooks at borders and indulged in the few lolita articles and fashions in shojo beat, and drew my own ideas while reading loli manga. then, they stopped selling the GLB mooks, and shojo beat folded and i had no where to go :( i got curious about how many other lolis were on fb, so i looked around and found them! i havent met them personally, but it feels much less lonely now. so now im ok with being the only loli around here, im just happy knowing somewhere out there, others like me are doing the same on their won :D

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    1. Your from Ohio, too!?!? So cool to know there's another lolita in Ohio!

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  29. I've done almost everything in this post to cope with drowning in frills alone. I do enjoy lolita a lot. But being in India, where it's hot and most fashion is extremely mainstream, no one really pays attention to it.

    I have to believe that I'm the one lolita in Mumbai at least is not the rest of my country.

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  30. Unfortunately, I'm the only Lolita that I know of in the state of Alaska. I want to hold a tea party to reach out, but I'm worried that no one will come. My roommate and close friend loves the lolita aesthetic and her main thing is Ball-Jointed Dolls, but it's not the same as having a community. :/
    PLEASE, if anyone knows of any Alaskan lolitas, please message me at http://www.himeclockle.tumblr.com/

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  31. I saw a Ama Lolita once and was surprised (given the t-shirt/jeans way most people dress where I live now), but I don't mind being a Lone Lolita AT ALL, as I am not a joiner. I've always done my own thing, and frankly, I'm allergic to drama of any kind, including the type that is in the Western Lolita community. The irony is that so many Lolita judge each other and are unkind while Lolitas in the West have to face those kind of problems from outside sources. I'm not interested in being a part of that.

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