Confession: I Constantly Break Lolita Rules, And I Love It.

I was checking the Lolita blogs this morning and saw this post by Part Time Lolita about all of the "rules of Lolita" that she constantly breaks. To some people, especially beginner Lolitas, the fashion can be very intimidating because it seems to have a lot of strict rules that must be followed. But, really, the rules aren't so much chiseled in stone as they are there to both try to define the style and to help beginners. I'm not really going to go into length about these rules, because I have done so before, because what I really want to do is make a list of all the "rules" that I can't help but break, even if some of them are rules that are pretty much considered Okay now.

  • I wear fishnets with Lolita. Not huge weave neon fishnets or anything like that, but a small weave black fishnet. It's not something I would ever wear to a meetup or anything, but I do wear it, especially with h.NAOTO filled coordinates or Gothic Lolita.
  • I love leopard print. Thank you Meta for releasing some stuff in leopard print and making leopard officially Okay! Before Meta did it it was kind of an iffy thing that the few times it had been attempted it looked way too Rockabilly. Up until Meta did it, leopard print was considered a no-no in the Lolita world.

Peg Bundy approves!
  • I like sheer materials. A rule that is okay to break now, but it used to be so taboo to wear a sheer blouse. I, personally, love sheer blouses with Lolita.
  • I never paint my nails or wear fake nails. So many Lolita's have fake nails that match their outfits perfectly, but I can't even stand to paint my nails. It's just too much of a hassle for me to keep them touched up. Besides that, I do a lot of crafts that often chip my nails and would make detail work nearly impossible if I was wearing fake nails.
  • I wear too much black eyeshadow. I can't help it sometimes, I just start putting it on and the Goth in my can't stop, and the next thing I know I have panda eyes.

Not this much eyeshadow, but close!
Image is a still from a Smashing Pumpkins video.
  • I swear all the fucking time. As if the name of this blog wasn't a big clue :P
  • I like shiny fabrics. Not necessarily satin unless it's a really thick and nice satin, but I really love Lolita pieces made out of brocade, taffeta, or even a nice PVC. I don't actually break this rule because I really don't have any Lolita pieces in these materials, but if I could get my hands on something I liked in them, I would wear it all the time.
  • I don't always wear blouses under JSKs. Blouses sometimes feel too stuffy for me so I usually skip them and just wear a cardigan or a bolero.

Shiny fabric done right is gorgeous.
  • I don't always wear a petticoat. Okay, so this is another rule I break but wouldn't consider breaking somewhere like a meetup. But on lazy days I usually wear an empire waisted JSK with no petticoat.
  • I don't always wear socks or something on my legs for that matter. Again, a rule I break but wouldn't break at a meetup. But if I just have to go to the store or something and it's really nice out, why bother dirtying up a pair of socks? I'd rather just slip on some flats and go out bare-legged. My Metamorphose Marine print JSK is my favorite dress to break this rule in. It's just so beachy and the perfect summer dress to wear without any socks or tights!
So, my fellow rufflebutts, what rules do you break? What rules do you wish were done away with? Which ones do you think that should never in a million years be broken? Either leave me a comment with your answer, or better yet, make a blog post of your own.

31 comments:

  1. I don't think I've ever worn a Lolita outfit that DIDN"T break a rule. I kinda copied you and made a post of my own with the same theme, this was actually a neat idea.

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  2. It gets hot down here in Georgia! I'm constantly wearing JSKs without blouses or no socks.

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  3. I think that for the most part I'm a rule-abiding lolita, although not intentionally. XD I can't even come up with more than a handful of rules off the top of my head.

    I may still make a post inspired by this. Hmm~

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  4. I swear too much and say very innopropriate things (at a meetup there was rugby on the TV in a pub we hid inside when it was raining I said 'It looks like they're having a mass orgy' I also commented on a princess and the frog costume inside the disney shop as a costume for 'child furries' and people who have me on twitter will know that I constantly talk about perverted things such as yaoi twincest)
    Also, I use parasols to hit my stepdad and brothers friends (I don't think that breaks a rule but its innopropriate)

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  5. The leopord print.. is... gross. Sorry. It's vulgar if you ask me.

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  6. why not wear small weave black fishnets to a meetup? It goes totally great with gothic in particular!

    lately a lot of people are paring a animal print fur collar or even a whole animal print fur coat with lolita. It's totally cute and gives coordinates a bit of sass.
    Haha, though, I'm not a fan of that meta coord. For some reason it reminds me of Peggy Bundy. XD

    I love fake nails...
    ON OTHER PEOPLE. You spend $50 for some fake nails and then an hour through the meetup one falls off and it's not a set anymore. It's so lame.
    I do paint my nails a lot, but I let them get chipped and I don't use 3d decals because they get caught on things, especially my hair.

    I'd never not wear some kind of petti to a meetup or event... but wearing a cute lolita skirt as an everyday item... it fits in more with mundane wear if there's no petti. <3

    I rarely wear bloomers. Especially if it's really hot out. I'll wear them if my skirt is a little short, or if I'm feeling particularly prim. Otherwise, whatever.

    Other rules I break... sometimes I intentionally show my petticoat to lengthen the look of a skirt. Sometimes I wear my petticoat as a skirt itself.

    and like we already talked about... I often don't wear a blouse under a JSK. But I always keep my upper arms covered (for the look and for my own lack of embarrassment. lots of boleros, cardigans, jackets and scarves instead!) I also tend to wear jackets that a lot of lolita would say is "not lolita". Like a jeans jacket with studs. Or a biker leather jacket.

    I also OFTEN wear high-heeled pointed-toe shoes with lolita. They usually have a flower or a bow on them, so they're lovely and not porno-looking... but i often feel li ke this type of shoe looks more elegant and feminine than the thick rounded toe of a teaparty type shoe (even though I like those, too)

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  7. I'm so relieved to hear that I'm not the only one with an affinity to black eye shadow. (^.^)'' My vice would be the addiction to dramatic make-up.
    I think it's totally okay to integrate not so usual materials, prints,... in an outfit as long as it looks somewhat classy and doesn't scream "I'm a cheap 'lolita, maid, cosplay, kawaii, sexy, etc.' thingy from ebay!" ^____^

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  8. I also break a lot of rules! God, I wish I could stop swearing so much! I'm always cursing about how F***ing expensive Innocent World's items are, how f***ed up some dramallamas might be, how the f*** will I pay for my credit card this month!!
    I like black shoes with pastel toned outfits, and I HATE fake nails and lashes!!
    ^_~ I love your post! lol

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  9. I wear sheer blouses with lolita too! I think it's really pretty and more mature looking.

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  10. I* don't normally wear make up or a petticoat unless tis a meet up XD
    I swear alot but try and be quiet at meet up to prevent any slipups XD

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  11. I sort of agree I love this blog and think its fine that you are wearing it but leopard print on anything (lolita or not) just screams takey to me. Sorry but I would never ware it. I am curious to see how you have done it. Maybe post a pic???

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  12. Oh gosh, rules. Yeah. Those tend to go out the window 15 minutes before the morning bus shows up ^^;;

    Let's see... I almost never wear make-up, ever. I LOVE wearing t-shirts and hoodies with my skirts and JSKs (I try to co-ordinate them color/theme-wise, at least?) and only wear a blouse if I feel the outfit looks silly without it. When I make skirts, I make them just a tad shorter than standard loli-length. And I plan to go bare-legged with birkenstock sandals for the whole summer.

    Oh, and I rarely wear stuff in my hair. I've really gotten into simple headbands ( I have one with tiny alternating studs and rhinestones, very cute with goth/punk loli!), or little bow-clips on top of a ponytail/in a braid, but that's as elaborate as I go.

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  13. I'm going to write a post like that too :D

    I avoid wearing blouses under jumpes as much as I can. :X I think I didn't do that even once last year [though I've done it twice this year already]!

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  14. I've never really thought about it that much before, but now I think about it, I just, well... don't really break the 'rules'. o__O It's not that I'm a purist or disapprove of it or even that I think about it a whole lot. I really like a lot of these things when I see them, like sheer blouses and blouseless JSKs. And leopard print! That Meta photo is a bit tacky, I have to say - too much of it - but done in a classy way it can be fabulous. (I sort of wouldn't personally wear it, though.)

    I guess, well... I wear it the way I like it, and I like it as it is. xD; It's too cold in England not to wear blouses under JSKs or bloomers or socks; I wore makeup all the time before Lolita, I like my nails painted to match, I drink too much tea (I'm British, how could I not? Tea is like, just what we /do/). I love cake. I love macarons. I love pink. I feel sad if my room isn't as pretty as my clothing.

    I think that's actually weirder than not breaking rules these days! Does being a lifestyle Sweet Lolita who listens to death metal count? Or having short hair? Maybe having a tendency to mix sailor blouses with floral skirts? Suddenly I feel very lame.

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  15. I hate blouses under JSKs on me. A lot. I feel like a little schoolgirl when I wear that. I've only done it a few times (once to a meetup where we were afraid it might snow, and since we live somewhere where it doesn't snow..., once when I was wearing my only brand dress and didn't want to get it dirty, once when I tried it on in my room and decided that I hated it... that's about it), but most of the time, I just bundle up with sweaters when it is too cold to have bare arms.

    I also tend to only wear socks when it's cold or not too hot. Since I live somewhere where 90 degrees is cold for a summer day (haha), and I have a bit of a thing for heels, I tend to go with bare legs and heels, especially in the summer, or in the winter when it isn't -too- cold that day. My everyday look is typically puff-sleeved tee or turtleneck + skirt + heels + some sort of simple headpiece (headband with a small bow, flower, etc.) or JSK + heels + headpiece. In the summer, I'm even known to wear a tube top + loli skirt + heels. I want one of those Meta tube tops.

    I also wear fishnets, and have done so to a meetup. It was a pink floral classic dress that I paired with white fishnets and white heels. I decided that if VM models can do it, I can do it if I'm wearing a VM styled dress, right? I've also worn blackxwhite striped socks, but that was with a sailor outfit.


    I think I would kill for one of those Meta vinyl skirts. I love them, even though they don't fit my style at all. I'd find a way to rock them. I've also been eyeing a leopard print skirt on Bodyline for a while now, so maybe I should order it...

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  16. Everyone tends to break the rules once in a while. For me, when i go casual I wear cute cutsews/shirts without ruffles on the bottom, and tucked into my skirts. I tend to wear tights instead of knee-high socks, since they don't fit my calves and they look too childish. I don't paint my nails. I'm not too elaborate with my hair because I really don't have the time or the hair-savvy to go OTT on my hair, and I don't have a hime-cut, I just have a side-swept bang because my hair is very curly. I wear my jsk with a cute bolero because it's got an empire waist, and doesn't look too good with a blouse underneath. I don't like tea. I don't like pink or pastel colors. When I feel like wearing sweet lolita, it's always in a very simple casual coord. I have very bad posture, I really need to fix that. I tend to laugh very loudly at dirty jokes, even when I'm in lolita. ^///^

    On the other hand, I always wear bloomers, a petticoat, and tights, no matter how hot it is. I always wear makeup, especially with lolita. I pay attention to my accessories when planing a coordinate. I don't go out without some type of headwear, even if it's only a small bow clip. I'm also shy and usually very quiet, and could spend hours sitting in a book store, reading a book, or spend a whole day shopping by myself.

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  17. I loooove leggings with lolita (they look good, and thay're a solution for people like me who haaate socks!)
    I wore sequin-leggings (with a matching sequin headbow!) in a punk coord to an anime convention a couple moths ago. ( http://www.polyvore.com/sequin_punk_coord/set?id=17149973 )XD It felt awesome to break the rules, even though no one else in the lolita panel seemed to like it much. <:/
    I go blouseless whenever I can..I overheat way too easily.
    I like sheer fabrics and fishnets too!
    I mix a lot of my more mainstream-trendy things with lolita all the time

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  18. with this, you evoke my sympathy.

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  19. I can't say I really wear lolita, because I can't say I really have it, but I know a rule I wouldn't be able to resist - heels. I can't stop wearing my high heels XD even though I do have Mary Janes, there's just way more variety to be found in the shoes at Charlotte Russe (and they're more easily accessible to me.)

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  20. haha yeah i consciously break rules sometimes too. i dont always wear socks. i am a maakeup artist and loveeee makeup and sometimes i wear too dark of colours and look like mana >.<. i do the cardigan instead of a blouse sometimes. and sometimes my poofy skirts are a little short. ohhh and sometimes i wear corset tops and show cleavage...im just a fan of historical fashion too so sometimes it shows. i love Marie Antoinette

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  21. I don't wear socks. I don't care for them, but i ALWAYS wear tights/crinolines/bloomers when it's cold out. Sometimes i don't wear a blouse underneath, either. sometimes it's just too hot. haha. and i constantly, because my interests are so eclectic and range broadly, and weaving in and out between EGL/EGA, sweet lolita, country/classic prints. not only that, but i love love love pin-up and rockabilly/psychobilly fashion.

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  22. breaks petticoat rule..primarily due to limited resources at the moment.

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  23. I swear too. My nails are always kept short (I'd like a French style but I'm doing sport and they'd be in the way). I also use a lot of different styles beside Loli, western, general Victorian goth, über-low cut evening dresses and tops, and I'd totally invent a Medieval Loli style.

    I also can't get why a nice, frilly/jabeau-ed, all-cotton but pointy-collar blouse is Ita...

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  24. I show cleavage and I love my breast. I think they are very beautiful and I'm not ashamed to have them. I also show my legs too.I have a womanly figure and I refuse to hide it. Actually, I don't follow the rules at all. Rules makes things that are supposed to be fun into something that it's not. I like to mix my styles, what's the point of keeping one. I'm glad to see this blog, it shows you can make the lolita style into something you want.

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  25. I'm glad I'm not the only lolita to break the rules. I like skirts that are a few inches shorter than your normal lolita skirt. i like wearing a lot of makeup as long as it still goes along with the sweet lolita theme (eyeliner, pastel eyeshadow,and sparkely pink lipgloss) I don't like wearing matching colors, I prefer a pink skirt with a blue blouse instead of a pink skirt with a pink or white blouse. I like fabrics the the "rule book" say are tacky like sheer, tulle, and SOME thick satins. When it's hot or I just don't feal like looking "proper" I wear lacey, pastel colored bustiers the even show *gasp* cleavege with loli skirts. I love over accseserizing and will be seen with multiple rings, bracelets, necklaces, and hair peices. "Natural" hair is something I never do, I prefer pastel colored hair. I don't act "proper" I really don't follow ettiquete nor have I ever drank from a fancy glass with my pinky out.

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  26. What beginners doesn't understand : it's okay to break rules - just not all of them at the same time !

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  27. Hello,

    I'm started to wear Lolita, mostly sweet Lolita, so for me everything is quite new.
    So, I think I break a lot of rules, but I don't care even if I like it and it looks cute.
    But I think the biggest rule I break is wearing not a wig, because I have an pink undercut ;)
    But people who have seen me like these where positive surprised, how good it looks even if it is not normal for a sweet Lolita :)
    All in all I think breaking rules make it more interesting an it is how new styles are founded, so let us break the rules to create something new ;)

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  28. I break a lot of the same rules you break! :D I don't really stray too far from the main outfit (OP, JSK+ blouse, skirt + blouse, etc.), but I do wear fishnets, sometimes I don't wear socks, and sometimes I wear more "fetish" shoes and boots with my gothic coords. (I've also worn my white creepers a couple times, hehehe.) I also wear dark make up and some white face (though not a lot, as I have naturally tan skin and it just looks weird sometimes!) and do my hair in un-Lolita ways. I really hate wearing accesories (especially hats and jewelry!!!), so I don't accessorize very much. I also have a tendency to swear.

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  29. I go petti-less more often than not, or at least wear a deflated one. First, because I love the old-school look of minimal poof, and second, because as of late, I haven't been doing anything "important" (mostly running errands, school, and the like) so I've been wearing lazy, casual co-ords.

    Also, I love Converse sneakers with lolita. It seems to be the general verdict that they're a no-no, but I think they're adorable (and comfortable!)

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  30. I'm thinking of getting into Lolita soon....
    .... I have to break the nail polish/fake nails rule... *not allowed in school :( *
    ... And the make-up. I personally feel really uncomfortable with make-up. But lip gloss is cool.

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  31. I would break the no sheer materials and blouses rule because, where I live, you can almost guarantee a 100 degree summer. 110 is a hot summer. The sneaker rule can be bent or broken if done correctly, for comfort if the metope requires a lot of walking, possibly running, or if you're doing an athlete lolita coordinate with workout clothing materials.

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