Sunday, March 21, 2010

Spam and Pickled Beets: The Gothic Lolita's Checklist.

Everyone else is making checklists à la Lolita Charm, so I want to too! Because if I don't now, when everyone else is doing it, I'll want to about 4 months from now, and my then it's going to be old news XD. Because Sweet Lolita seems to be covered, I'll be doing a Gothic Lolita's Checklist.



Before I get onto this list, let me add that this is not to be taken seriously. A Gothic Lolita doesn't have to do all these things, of course they don't, this is just my personal Gothic Lolita style, in check list form, plus a bit of goofy fun thrown in for good measure.
  • When she sees a Sweet Lolita dress, she often exclaims "I love that dress! If only it came in plain black."
  • Half her closet is black x black dresses.
  • Thinks that the pointier the shoe the better.
  • If not pointy shoes, at least a mighty platform.
  • Has a signature color that she wears with black.
  • Will paint her nails this color, or at least, secretly, her toenails.
  • Has a dozen, completely different, pairs of black socks.
  • Thinks that Rosaries are the perfect necklace.
  • Thinks that wearing multiple Rosaries is even better.
  • Thinks that tights under socks is A-okay, so long as those tights are black and lacy.
  • Thinks that all skirts should have a bustle, or at least have the pull ribbons to make a bustle an option.
  • Has sewed ribbon channels in her rare brand prints because dammit, all skirts MUST have a bustle!
  • Thinks that lighted candles perched on stone gargoyles are the perfect decor.
  • Also thinks that lots of billowy, gauzy black drapery will spruce up any room.
  • Knows how to operate a fire extinguisher. From experience.
  • Wears huge spidery false eyelashes on her bottom lid.
  • Stocks up on Halloween decorations to decorate her room.
  • Gets offended when people refer to black and white Angelic Pretty dresses as "Gothic Lolita".
  • Will wear full Lolita, in black velvet, in the heat of summer and will rationalize it with "Well, I've got a parasol and a feathered fan to cool me off."
  • Insists on drinking tomato juice out of a wine glass.
  • Thinks an antique candelabra makes the perfect finishing touch on her outfit.
  • Collects Victorian photographs and uses those for inspiration more than the Gothic & Lolita Bibles.
  • Doesn't mind holes in her clothes, so long as they were artfully put there or are part of a decaying vintage piece.

If you want another check list for Gothic Lolitas, check out the one posted on Les Fleurs Noires. If you're curious about the title of this post, and took special notice of the lovely Goth up top, it's a reference to a scan from a very old Gothic & Lolita Bible that featured a day in the life of both a Gothic and a Lolita. I'll just let you have a peek at that before I say any more. Click for larger images.

It's kind of cute at first, but a while ago someone provided a translation of it and we all found out exactly how we are supposed to be living. The Lolita's life is very cliche childish, and the Goth's life is so boring and also includes the unexplainable dinner of pickles, pickled beets, and Spam, which brings this spread to a WTF level.

Of course, this spread is meant to be silly. No one is really supposed to do these things to be a Goth or a Lolita, but every time I muse to myself on the topic of living the Lolita lifestyle, I always think of Spam and pickled beets.

Bon Appétit!

9 comments:

  1. Ghehehe, if that's the way a Gothic Lolita is living, I think I'll turn over to sweet lolita. XD Hey! At least she is playing violin! =D

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  2. I'd say that most of this list fits for a number of goths (no lolita in the mix) as well. I loved the line about loving a dress ... if only it came in black. Well done.

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  3. Great checklist! I especially liked the points about bustles. *g*

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  4. Spam and pickled beets? Two of the most disgusting things I've ever eaten, no lie.

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  5. That translation never fails to crack me up. I like your list, and a bunch of the items! Someone should make one for classical lolitas so I don't feel left out. :X

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  6. I know spam finger sandwiches and pickled beats in heart shapes will be on the menu for my next tea party.

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  7. Deelliiicccious Spam!

    I lie - that shit's revolting D:

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  8. Great! I love checklists :D Totally agree on the bustle part ^^

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  9. This was really great! I went ahead and read the translated article, it was hilarious. I really wish I knew how they came up with that Gothic dinner.

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